Thursday, January 13, 2011

Wow, it's been a while

I apologize to my few but faithful followers for not updating before now. It's been quite a crazy few weeks. Let's see where we've been...

Week 19-I met with the OB that will hopefully be taking over my care from the midwives at the birthing center. We had a nice discussion about my history, this pregnancy and the future. She told me she had to discuss my case with her colleagues before giving me an answer. Later that week, we had an ultrasound. We have quite a stubborn Bean. Bean's head was at my belly button and facing my spine. It was quite difficult to see, but Bean is a HE! We have a Josiah on the way. Josiah was measuring about 9 days off. I planned on discussing a repeat ultrasound or changing my due date completely. The "typical" standards are if they are measuring 10 days off, however I am not a "typical" mother, and 9 days can mean the difference between going into labor naturally or having to fight to prevent yet another unnecessary cesarean.

Week 20-I was beginning to get stressed out. I hadn't heard from the OB yet. I was worried she was going to say no. I didn't know what I was going to do. I got a phone call the day before Xmas eve from her office. She agreed to take me as a VBA2C patient! I was so excited! What a Xmas present!!

Xmas day was... chaotic at best. We woke around 10:30. The kids were happy, we were happy, we ate breakfast and casually got ready for the day. We left the house knowing we weren't going to be home again until that evening. We went to my in-laws house, and A had an allergic reaction to fumes from peanut oil my father-in-law was frying in. It was nearly aniphylactic. We had to give her Benadryl and leave immediately. We went to my parents' house, however the rest of the day she was lethargic and "drugged up". She had no desire for opening presents, playing with her aunts or even watching the Xmas parade on TV. At one point she asked to go home, so we left the house. In lieu of our annual trip to the Japanese restaurant with the kids, we ordered some sushi to go and headed home. When we got home, A threw up and fell asleep. She slept 14 hours and woke up happy and back to normal.

The kids were sick most of this week. It was pretty miserable. I love my kids, but honestly have you tried cuddling with a body that is at 104degrees?? I stayed hot. It didn't help that we had unseasonably warm weather that week either! I was happy when they returned to feeling better and we got back to normal daily living.

Week 21-I had my last visit with the mdiwife at the birthing center. We discussed her conversation with the OB. She informed me that the OB I met with was the only provider in the practice that approved the VBA2C. She said I needed to go ahead and switch over to the OB's office for care. I was so sad. I felt so at home at the birthing center, but knew they could only do so much with a primary VBA2C. I called the OB's office and made an appointment. According to the OB's office, the OB I met with didn't see new OB patients, only OB patients who were established. Even though I was an established patient with the practice, they insisted on making the appointment with another OB in the practice. I accepted, understanding that the visit would not be the best, and understanding I had to just get over that hurdle and be done.

I woke one morning with a migraine. I have a history of them and they've come back with a vengance. It got to the point where I couldn't handle the pain anymore. I was sort of in limbo between providers, so I went to the ER. My mother-in-law picked the kids and I up, dropped me off at the ER and took the kids to my mom's house. The ER doctor gave me a prescription for medicines that would help, and I went home to sleep. My mom kept the kids the next day and I appreciated a day to rest and recoup.

Week 22-What a week. I took A to the allergist to discuss Xmas day and get refills on prescriptions. It's always nice to get a refresher on using an Epipen, especially when apparently you may have a time you need to use it.

The next day, I had the appointment to switch providers over to the OB's office. You could say me expeccting the visit to be a total and utter fiasco was a self-fulfilling prophecy, or you could just say I'm too smart. Either way it happened. I was a few mintues before my appointment time, and had a bunch of paperwork to fill out. I filled out everything except the Enfamil Family Beginnings Program enrollment form. I don't need a formula company to tell me how to breastfeed. Eventually we got back to the waiting room and the doctor came in. She introduced herself and shook my hand. That is the only time she touched me during the entire visit. She began looking at my paperwork and began discussing my history. The conversation went something like this...

The first thing she says is, "Well, you've had two c-sections, so you're not going to have a vaginal birth." Immediately I said, "I'm going to VBAC."
"No you're not."
"Yes, I'm [your colleague]'s VBAC patient. She's already approved me."
"It's against the standard of care."
"Not since ACOG's October statement."
"That had nothing to do with repeat c-sections."
"Yes it did."
"Well, I'm not approving it. You need to see [my colleague]."
"Honestly, I don't know why I'm here with you. I asked your staff to make an appointment with [your colleague]. They said I had to see you first. I knew you wouldn't want to touch me because I'm a VBAC."
"Well, we'll reschedule you with [my colleague]."

I stood up, took the stupid paper she had, grabbed my kids and walked into the waiting room. I was beyond furious. Mainly for several reasons.
1. Her assumption that her word was final and I had no choice in how to birth my children.
2. Her arguing with me about what I have planned.
3. Her bold-faced lie about ACOG's new policy regarding VBACs and VBA2Cs. October's statement had EVERYTHING to do with VBACs and VBA2Cs.
4. Her refusal to discuss any issues about my current condition. I am still having migraines and will run out of medicine long before the 31st, when my appointment with my OB is.

Such is life, you know? When you parent the way I do, you make "enemies" naturally. We (LJ and I) feel that with a healthy mother and healthy baby a vaginal birth is healthier than a cesarean, with only very few exceptions. We feel breastfeeding is natural, normal and the best way for any baby to be nutured. We don't feel circumcision or vaccination is necessary or wise. We feel that our baby is safest at night in our bed, with easy access to nursing and cuddling. We refuse to let our children cry-it-out. We don't think "sleep training" is necessary, ethical or safe. Do people disagree with us? Sure. If we did formula, circumcision, vaccines and sleep training we'd still have "enemies". So, I'm used to having to fight for my parenting beliefs, and this fight begins for me, because of my previous ignorant decisions, shortly after conception. I hope my meeting on the 31st with my OB is better than it was with her colleague. I am pretty sure it will be.

Week 23-We're at today now! I had my first official meeting with our doula. We have a lot in common, and we get along great. I probably talked too much, but she didn't seem to mind (at the time lol). She gave me a lot of information to read, and I probably should be reading instead of blogging, but I haven't in such a long time!

So, it's late, my kids are tired, my husband is on his way home, and I'm ready to go relax. Goodnight, internet. I will post after my next grand adventure!

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